Steamin' Windows
by mishy-mo
Summary: funny and suggestive SJ, mentioned DJanet WARNING: this is a dirty as your own mind makes it NOW THIS IS REALLY THE LAST CHAPTER! No.15
1. Chapter 1

Steamin' windows

Daniel walked towards Jack's truck but slowed when he heard his teammates voices. More specifically the annoyed voice of Jack.

'Carter, no.' Jack almost shouted in his most commanding voice.

'But sir, just once.' Sam pleaded.

'You can play with it later.'

'Sir! Please...' she pleaded once again.

'Fine.'

Daniel was shocked when he almost heard Sam squeal in happiness. A few seconds passed before he saw the two dark masses in the front move closer together.

'Carter, I had no idea you where this good, I didn't even think you liked this sorta stuff.' Spoke Jack in awe and wonder.

'Ah, this is the product of my miss spent youth.' She said proudly.

'I'm impressed, a miss spent youth, fantastic brain and an amazing talent for...'

The car horn sounded loudly. Daniel nearly screamed in fright, already feeling nervous over what he was overhearing.

'Opps, well you get the point... Carter now what the hell do you think your playing with?' he asked almost shocked.

'I'm just getting comfy sir, I don't play so well if I'm not comfy.' She said jokingly.

'Carter look what your doing to my windows.' He said only half interested in the state of his truck window.

'Well, it happens and they where like that before ... is it too hot for you?' she said sincerely.

At this Daniel nearly choked, but instead he was reduced to doubling over with silent laughter at the side of the car.

'... No it's ok,' he said a little exasperated. ' I'm fine just not looking forward to not being able to see out of my windshield .'

Daniel was able to hear the grin in his voice.

'But you don't need to see right now do you, plus this is far more important.'

'But it's mine, I just don't like people playing with my thingy...' Jack whined.

'Thingy, sir? With all do respect, it's not nearly hot enough yet, so deal with it.'

'Carter, that's mine, the thingy's mine and this is my car ... Carter!'

'What?'

'You can't do that!'

'Well it looks like I have.'

'Carter, do you know how long it's gonna take me to get that back.'

'As long as it takes sir. Have fun.'

At this Sam exited the truck with a thoroughly pleased smile on her face.

'Daniel?' she asked seeing him in a pained state on the ground, apparently crying.

'Hey Sam.' He squeaked, making his laughter now apparent.

With difficulty he got to his feet and made his way back into work.

'What was that about?' Jack called hearing the conversation, or lack of it through the still open door.

'I dunno. See you inside, sir.' And Sam disappeared, still smiling.

Jack remained in the truck for a further ten minutes before heading down for this mornings briefing, smiling thoroughly pleased with himself.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning briefing went as normal however Daniel noticed the thoroughly pleased looks on both Sam and Jack's faces, which brought a grin to his own.

Hammond on the other hand was not happy about the idea that ¾ of his premier team seemed a little distracted if not entirely so. Had it not been a check up visit to the Pangaren home world he wouldn't have let it slide. In one respect he was happy to see them happy a lot had happened to them over the years and there where rare moments when they could relax.

'Ok, so you're all set for going at 14.00?' he asked in a finalizing tone.

He watched with an invisible smile as all the eyes around the table suddenly truly focused on him for the first time in 20 minutes.

Murmurs of 'Yes Sir.' came hesitantly from the group.

Nodding as a sign of dismissal, SG-1 took their leave, Hammond peering after them with a wry smile.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

SG-1 met up as usual in the commissary at exactly 12.30 and as usual Daniel was late. So with Teal'c thoroughly engrossed in emptying the cafeteria fridges before the fourth member arrived.

But alas his attempts where futile as Danny took that moment to spring in and join the queue that filed behind their usual table.

Sam and Jack however found a topic of conversation to keep them occupied.

'So I take it things got back to normal?' asked Sam grinning.

At this Daniel stopped dead a little way from the table though still close enough to hear, pretending to be interested in the contents of some pre-packaged food.

'Yeah, and it only took me 10 minutes!' exclaimed Jack, ' I was rather proud of myself.'

'10 minutes? That all?' she said impressed though a little skeptical, 'I thought it might have proved a little bit of a challenge to recover from.'

'A bit of a challenge? It was a full on war for crying out loud!' he cried, earning him an appreciative grin, 'But I enjoyed every minute of it!'

'Does that mean your up for a second round? Want a harder challenge?'

Daniel only just managed to hold in a choke, but in covering his complete lack of breath and the inability to breath he missed a few seconds of conversation.

'Me too,' spoke Jack, 'Though maybe not in my car, or I fear my windows will never be the same!'

Daniel lost all sense of composure at that point coughing and spluttering so much that SG-1 became concerned and came standing round him, Teal'c munching on an apple, Jack looking concerned in his own little way and Sam rubbing his back soothingly, which seemed to make him worse! She jumped back slightly as the coughs where exchanged for hysterical laughter.

'Daniel what is with you today?' said Jack now ever so slightly annoyed.

Suppressing laughter for now he spoke in a squeak of a voice. 'Nothing Jack just finding it hard to keep as straight face.' He seemed to stop for a moment thinking over his words then bursting into laughter once more.


	3. Chapter 3

'Can I at least see it before we go?' Sam voice rang through the corridors outside SG-1's locker room. Despite the fact that the female sign was still visible on the door a male voice answered her.

'No. Carter you played with it and held it for long enough this morning in the car I'm sure you can go a few more hours.' Replied the voice of Jack O'Neill.

Meanwhile the other half of the team came to a stop just beyond the door at the sound of their team mates voices.

'No sir, I guess it's kind of addictive and I dunno!' Her voice strained and frustrated, 'Just get it out for me !… please?' she added pleading, no doubt batting her eyelids beyond the door at her commanding officer.

'You asked for it Carter.' he said giving in.

The sound of a zip made it's way to the egger ears of those in the hall, Daniel gasped and Teal'c eyebrow was raised.

A few seconds of quiet.

'Ok now are you finished looking?'

'Hmm…' she said quietly, as though in deep contemplation.

'What does 'hmm' mean?' he replied incredulously.

'How did you get it that big? I mean it was a lot smaller a few hours ago. It just doesn't seem right.'

'Carter, it is right. What makes you think I don't know about my own equipment? I got it bigger than you did cos it's mine and I know all the little tricks.' He said smugly.

'We'll just see about that, you've just booked your self in for some rigorous combating.'

'Oh really.'

'Yes really.'

'Fine my place at 18.00'

'I'll see you there.'

Again the sound of a zip could be heard.

'See you there.' Sam said as she left the room to allow Jack to get changed into his off world gear. 'Hi guys.' She said to her bemused team-mates waiting on the other side of the door before walking smugly in the direction of the gate room.

'I deeply regret not believing your previously, Daniel Jackson, it would appear that there is indeed something occuring between Major Carter and O'Neill. I apologise.'

'No problem Teal'c I don't think I would have believed it either.' He said serious. 'So what are we going to do about them?'

'We obviously can not let them meet this evening.'

'Certainly not.' Replied Daniel.

Teal'c look pointedly in Daniel's direction.

'What?' he said confused, before being hit by realisation. 'No I can't do that. Jack already hates me enough, and he'd definitely shoot me if I did that!'

'Who's going to shoot you space monkey?' said Jack emerging from the locker room, and despite the fact he asked about Daniel's future well being he seemed a little preoccupied, not that Daniel and Teal'c where surprised.

'Oh no one.' He replied giving Teal'c a look, which in Jack's current state he completely missed.

'Ok then, just make sure 'no one' doesn't shoot you before the mission, don't be late.' He said walking in the same direction that Sam went.

'O'Neill appears to be…'

'Disturbed, he's always been like that.' Daniel interjected as he watched the topic of discussion disappear round the corner.

'…distracted.' Said Teal'c finishing his sentence.

Daniel nodded knowingly.

'We need to keep an eye on them while we're off world.'

'Daniel Jackson…'

'Don't worry Teal'c I'll do it.'

Dejectedly Daniel followed Teal'c into the locker, wonder it Jack might actually shoot him when it came to doing what he had to.


	4. Chapter 4

'Daniel!' Shouted the commander of SG-1

'What? It was an accident.' He replied innocently, a little too innocently. 'You think I did this on purpose?'

At this point Daniel indicated to what appeared to be a freshly bruised ankle.

Their visit had been short, however it was lengthened slightly by the few proposals of marriage which Daniel had to kindly decline before leaving, which they had done barely 5 minutes ago.

It was exactly 17.05, and in normal circumstances SG-1 where barely 30 minutes from the gate. However the latest 'incident' was going to change that to around 45 minutes.

Daniel had fallen and twisted his ankle.

It appeared as though he had twisted it pretty good as he required your standard Teal'c sized crutch to make any progress in the direction of the gate.

So with one ill placed footstep, the speed was halved and the ETA was drastically changed to sometime near 18.00.

Jack was not a happy camper.

----------------------------------------------

'Colonel, would you like to tell me how exactly you managed to come in late on one of the easiest missions of the year?' Said General Hammond over the intercom.

Sam and a disgruntled Jack had come through the horizon first to be faced with a pissed general.

'Daniel, sir, need I say any more?' he called up to his superior officer, and indicating to the man who had just came through piggy back on to of Teal'c.

'Very well, go and get cleaned up and check that foot out in the infirmary. Your back here in one hour for your de-brief.' And with that the voice from the skies was gone.

'Well there goes my plans for the evening.' He said looking directly at Daniel.

'I didn't plan this Jack!' said Daniel all to truthfully as it was actually Teal'c who had came up with the idea. 'Right Teal'c, giddy-up we need to go and catch Janet.'

The two men left the room leaving the military half of the team standing on the ramp, Sam giggled while Jack had a grim on his face.

'They make a right pair.' Said Sam indicating in the direction the two left in.

'Funny, I thought Daniel always had a thing for Doc.' He said grinning and following them.

Shrugging off the comment with a sigh and a smile, Sam followed the rest of her team to the infirmary.

----------------------------------------------

'Well, I can confirm it.' Said Doctor Frasier seriously, 'You, Daniel Jackson, are officially the weirdest person I've ever met.'

'Janet, you had to hear them I swear something is going on and we had to do something.' He said almost pleadingly.

'We?'

'Indeed.' Said Teal'c speaking up for the first time.

'Teal'c how did he manage to rope you into his little delusions as well?' she asked truly curious.

'I believe that Daniel Jackson is correct…'

'See.' And if he was a five year old child she was sure he would have stuck out his tongue.

'… I was witness to the second and third conversation that he speaks of, I does lead on to the conclusion that…'

'That Sam and Jack, the commander and 2IC of the best team in the SGC are sleeping together?' she said unbelievingly.

'Yes.' Daniel answered surely while Teal'c nodded.

'And you just _**had**_ to fake breaking your ankle to stop them meeting after work for 'rigorous combat training'?'

'Yes.' He replied just as sure.

'I won't believe it.' She said determinedly, folding her arms.

And as luck would have it the topic of discussion made it's way through the doors of the infirmary.

'So how's Danny-boy doing?' asked Jack making his way over to the group, Sam following closely behind.

'I wonder about him sometimes.' She said un-approvingly.

Daniel's eyes where wide and pleading.

'Yeah and I had stuff to do tonight, trust you Danny-boy to be the reason I have to put them back.' He said almost glowering in his direction.

Daniel and Janet shared a look.

One that did not go unnoticed by Sam or Jack.

'So what plans exactly did this little incident take you away from?' she asked directly of the colonel before her.

'Plans? No plan, just stuff.' He replied standoffish and vague.

'And you Sam?' Janet asked casually as she began to take Daniel vitals.

'What?'

'Did you have any plans?'

'Just work really, speaking of which, I'll see you guys later.' She said looking curiously at her friend who was acting in the strangest way.

'I better head too.' Said Jack following her.

'Don't for get the briefing is it ten minutes!' called Daniel after them.

The three sat/stood in silence as they heard a voice from the corridor.

'Did she just say what I think she said?' asked Janet.

'What do you think she said?' Daniel said in return.

Janet gulped.

'I believe,' spoke Teal'c, ' She said that there would be just enough time.'

'That's what I heard!' she squealed.

Daniel grimaced slightly at the high-pitched scream.

'Do you believe us then?' said Daniel, rubbing his foot that had been 'immobile' for the last hour.

'Hmm, I think we need to investigate further.'

'Further! What more do you want they are clearly doing it!' shouted Daniel, gaining the attention of most of the infirmary even waking a comatose Siler.

'Daniel now be quiet, come back here once the briefing is over I have to deal with Siler now.' She said matter-of-factly.

'But what about now, what about after?' he said worrying about what his friend could get up to during these unsupervised times.

'Daniel!' she said in a warning motherly tone.

'Fine.' He said, stalking out the room on his crutches, carefully lifting his uninjured left leg from the ground.

'It is good to see that you are well, sergeant.' Said Teal'c before following his friend.

With a smile, Janet turned to he latest patient.

'Now sergeant what did I tell you about playing with the main power coupling?'


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Despite Daniel's worries Sam and Jack where already sitting comfortably around the briefing table when he arrived. And while Sam looked indifferent, Jack still had the aura of a man who was slightly pissed off, so one could assume that…em…nothing happened in the way of 'vigorous combat training'.

However once the briefing was finally over, they DID leave together, which under the circumstances wasn't entirely conspicuous as Jack had invited them all to the mess for a Jell-o break and it was only Sam who accepted. Daniel and Teal'c had to (unfortunately) decline due to their appointment with the good doctor, but neither told Jack this fact, instead coming up with some excuse to head to Daniel's lab.

He watched them walk away together.

And Daniel found it hard, seeing them disappear down the corridor together.

Why?

Well, despite finding the whole situation entirely funny just a few short hours ago and despite knowing that they were very close, he reasoned after a few minutes contemplation that they were risking a lot with this new 'development' and he did not want them getting in trouble (which they certainly would do), and so, with a heavy heart, he and Teal'c headed in the direction of the infirmary.

Once again this was something noticed by Sam and Jack.

Reaching their destination they found that the infirmary was deserted, only a dim glow from the office at the end of the room indicating to any signs of life.

'Janet?' Daniel spoke softly as he entered the room.

The petite doctor was standing waiting on them, and she'd be waiting for a while.

'What took you guys so long?'

'Well it's kinda hard to walk fast when you're faking a twisted ankle.'

'Fine, any here's what we're going to do…'

'Who put you in charge?'

'Well who hasn't done anything about it even though they've known for hours?'

'Good point,' he muttered, barely loud enough for her to hear. 'Continue.'

'Teal'c we need you to go up to the security level.' She said commandingly and tossing him a radio. 'We need you to track their movements and radio us the information so we can find out what's really going on.'

'Is there any other task to which I am assigned?'

'Yes, if … if there appears to be something happening which you can see on screen I am entrusting you to take which ever tape it maybe and destroy the evidence, I don't think that they would actually do anything on base but … just in case.'

'Good idea.' Said Daniel proudly.

'Ok, we'll wait here until you radio in.' she said.

With a quick bow, Teal'c left to start his noble task that the doctor had assigned him.

'I'm amazed you got this all figured out so quickly.' Said Daniel admiringly, ' I'm surprised you're not out there on a team with those kinds of skills.'

There was a small sound out beyond the door.

'Well you don't think I wasn't paying attention when I was a combat training.' She replied almost playfully.

'Well, I don't know it depends on what they where teaching you doesn't it.'

'I suppose it does, but I learned a lot from my classmates as well as my teacher.'

'Like what?'

'Like this.'

She said moving closer to him and reaching for something on her desk.

With amazing dexterity she picked up one of the radios and quickly took it to pieces before putting it back together again.

'Wow, cool.'

Once again there was a faint sound from beyond the door, this one now gaining their attention and pulling them from their little world.

Daniel's hand was inches away from the door when his radio crackled to life.

'I have reached the security level.' Came Teal'c's voice.

'Good Teal'c.' Daniel replied. Janet stepped closer and listened intensely to the noise from the radio.

'They have just entered Major Carter's Lab.'

'Right Teal'c we're on our way.' Said Daniel in a finalising tone. 'Radio silence.'

'Eh… Daniel?' said Janet.

'It was too much wasn't it the whole military talk?'

'No it was fine, I just think if we're going to spy on them we should maybe leave these very noisy crutches behind?'

'Yeah, good idea.' He said timidly.

She did seem to be coming up with a lot of good ideas lately.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Daniel and Janet crept silently towards Sam's lab not knowing what would be waiting for them, already able to hear the murmuring voices of Sam and Jack from beyond the door. They edged close to the door before stopping and bringing their ears closer to the door that was ajar to better hear their words.

And what words they were.

'Sir, do you think we can do anything about it?' said Sam in a slightly worried voice.

'Well we can't let anyone and I mean **ANYONE** find out about it.' Replied Jack determinedly.

'Yes, and we can't let things get anymore complicated.'

Silence descended in the room for a moment before she spoke once again.

'But what if they already are?' she asked thinking aloud.

'What?' he answered not knowing what she was talking about.

'Complicated.'

'Oh… how?'

'What is it's more than we think?'

'Like what?'

'Like um…' she faltered, as though trying to gain the courage to say something that did not want to be said. '…like love.'

'Love!' he said loudly his voice a mixture of emotions.

'Love,' he repeated though now his voice was softer. 'But… I dunno… might be.'

'Yeah, might be.'

The room fell into a thick and contemplative silence.

Daniel and Janet stood shocked on the other side of the door.

_Love?_Daniel mouthed silently in Janet's direction, sending a completely shocked look in reply.

Then followed a noiseless conversation with exaggeratedly mouthed words.

_I never thought it could be love._

_You're such a typical man!_

_What? _he mouthed incredulously with raised eyebrows.

To that he received a well-practiced glare that he had only seen on occasions when her patients were being especially stubborn, i.e. whenever the colonel tried to make an escape.

Getting back to the subject of why they where standing in the hallway outside their friends lab he continued,

_What do you think they're doing?_

_I dunno_

_What if they're doing … something?_

There was a momentary pause in communication.

_Then we should stop them._

_Really?_

Daniel had never looked so scared in his life, silently wishing that he could face a battalion of Jaffa than walk in on his friends…eh … anyway.

_Yes. Really_

_Why?_

_Cameras_

_Oh. Should we go in?_

Again there was a pause in communication.

_Janet! _he mouthed shacking her slightly

_Ok, but we knock first_

_Ok _

He said silently while giving the thumbs up.

_**Knock! Knock!**_

'Come in.'

'Yeah.'

'Sir, this is MY lab.' She whispered before two inquisitive heads poked round the door.

'Sorry Carter.' He muttered back.

Hi's and Hey's were exchanged and the room fell into an expectant silence.


	7. Chapter 7

Speculating

'Do you have something to tell us?' said Daniel a little angrily. Both he and Janet glaring convincingly at the couple across from them.

'Eh? No?' said Jack tentatively.

They received no answer but an increased intensity in their eyes.

Sam sighed and glanced at Jack, signalling to him that she was going to admit defeat.

'How much did you hear?' she asked.

'Oh, enough.' Said Janet disapprovingly.

'Right.' Said Sam quietly, 'We should have spoken to you first.'

'I'm just disappointed that you couldn't trust us, did you think that we wouldn't find out?' Daniel's eyes trained on the bowed head of the Major and the defiant eyes of the Colonel.

'Hey what did you expect us to do?' Jack voice rumbled with a glace in Sam's direction, seeking her support in the matter.

'We expected you two, to be able to act like air force officers not teenagers!' said Janet.

Silence returned once again.

Neither of the air force officers could reply when faced with two rather angry people baring down on them and firing really quite reasonable points at them from all directions.

'So how long?' asked Sam.

'This morning.' Answered Daniel. And he stopped there not wanting them to know what he'd over heard in the parking lot that morning.

'This morning?' asked Jack unconvinced. 'Really? But the signs have been there for ages, I was sure…'

'Sure about what Jack?' replied Daniel defiantly.

'Forget it.'

'What did you think you were doing?' spoke Janet disapproval still present in her voice.

'Janet, I'm so sorry I should have spoken to you first before we started speculating.'

'Yeah…eh?' suddenly she seemed extremely confused.

'Speculating?' Janet and Daniel said in unison.

'Yeah, about you two.' Said Sam.

At this they looked even more confused and gasped ever so slightly.

'What did you think we were talking about?' asked Jack.

Suddenly it was Janet and Daniel that had guilty looks on their faces.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Daniel and Janet stood almost cowering before the military officers of SG-1, each very aware of the open door and the route to safety standing invitingly behind them. They glanced at each other then back to their best friends; the eyes of whom where questioning as well as confused.

In truth Daniel and Janet where rather embarrassed given the fact that they where the ones who had been speculating, as well as the one's being speculated about.

But in Daniel's case embarrassment was soon replaced by fear with the colonel's next words.

'And where the hell are you crutches!' He shouted. The rest of the occupants of the room sure that even if Thor was sitting happily in his home world eating his little yellow square that he would be able to hear the man's shout.

'Ehh,' said Daniel desperately trying to find a way out of this one, 'Janet… she… but really Teal'c … and then …ta-da.' He finished almost question and most definitely nervous, shiftily placing himself slightly behind the petite doctor.

Sam could see that Jack was about to shout once again and stepped in to save her eardrums.

'Daniel,' she said with a too-sweet and soft tone, catching her commanding officers gaze for a moment, then perusing with her lulling of her suspects, 'Why don't you start from the beginning, and please speak in whole sentences.'

'Eh, right.' He said hesitantly, with a trademark 'please don't kill me' look, usually reserved for gou'ald or Jack when he was stuck in confined spaces.

'It sorta started this morning, I heard you in the truck, and then the cafeteria, then the locker room and I don't think you should be doing this. None of us do.' He rattled off quickly trying to get it over and done with, but Jack and Sam intervened.

'Heard what?'

'None of whom?'

Daniel winced and replied. 'Me, Teal'c and Janet, I mean we all know about this thing you got going between you but there are rules and stuff and you just shouldn't be doing this!'

Sam and Jack shared a quick look, and then Jack spoke;

'What's the problem?' he said nonchalantly Sam adopting and equally indifferent stance.

'You're breaking the rules!' said Janet.

'So,' Jack continued, 'the rule we're breaking really isn't that important, and it's not like we do it that often it's just two or three times when we're at work, and when we're not at work it's no one else business!'

'But how is it affecting you?' said Daniel concerned.

'Well it's not doing me any harm,' said Sam almost grinning, 'its great fun!'

'Oh sure its fun but what if you get caught?' spoke Janet shocked at the way they where behaving as well as what they thought of breaking the rules and regulations they both swore to uphold, 'I mean Daniel managed to hear you in the car this morning!'

'It's my car and none of your business anyway!' shouted Jack defending his decisions, Sam leaning forward towards the doctors backing up her CO.

'It is the business of this entire base when the some of the top military officers under this mountain are breaking the frat rules, and on base no less.' shouted Janet.

'WHA T?'


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

He ran.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, huffing and puffing he sprinted to the elevator, dashing through the doors that where closing before thudding loudly and painfully into the other side of the car. Using the momentum he re-bounded in the direction of the now closed doors hitting the number of the cafeteria level, before retreating to the corner of the carriage and stood waiting patiently as the elevator ascended. He glanced around the empty carriage, his inside writhed desperately as he ran the latest piece of information his ears had been privileged to, shaking from head to toe he could barely wait to reach the busiest place under the mountain and reveal the gossip to anyone and everyone. And he would tell it with confidence because no one would refuse the tale of the latest development of the mountains star couple.

He silently cursed the fact that he had not ran in to anyone on the way to the elevator, this momentous information was swelling in his chest like a bubble, making it hard to breathe; the feel of pride and importance almost as restricting as the adrenaline that currently coursed through his veins. But his thoughts were cut short with the cheery way that the elevator doors sprung apart, and he was off again.

He darted through the grey corridors, following the lines on the floor to make sure he was going in the right direction in this maze of corridors and blast doors. Streaking past the odd technician, in a desperate hurry to reach his goal and tell as many people as he could he called to them all and said 'Follow me!'

And with out question they fell into step behind him.

In the 90 seconds it took to reach the smell of the citrus chicken and red jell-o, a trail of 8 people followed him into the room filled with the afternoon shift getting coffee after a hard days work and the evening shift getting something to eat before the work began. The room was officially full and every head turned with the burst of a man through the doors.

Silence descended.

Every eye still rested on the man as he leaned forward, bracing his hands on the table, his breath hitching in whoops and coughs.

'What happened to him?' asked a member of SG-7.

'I dunno, I just saw him running like mad through the corridors and he said to follow him.' replied a technician.

He held up his index finger indicating for a few more moments before he explained himself.

His breathing more stable he began to speak but only in short bursts.

'I was only level…24 outside Major…Carter's lab and … Jackson, Frasier and Colonel… O'Neill was there.'

He paused for longer this time, the effort required speaking but one sentence draining him.

The rest of the room where quickly losing interest in the man before them, some already returning to their coffees and meals with whispered chatter.

The murmurs of their conversations growing until the usual din returned.

'WAIT!' He shouted, gaining the reluctant attention and quiet of the room once more.

'They were arguing about something, rules, and then Frasier said that two of the top military officers under this mountain are breaking the frat rules! Carter and O'Neill are breaking the frat rules!' he said triumphant and happy, ridding himself of his burden.

The saying all hell broke loose would be an understatement if it was used to describe the next thirty seconds, and let's face it these people knew what hell was.

There where many cheers and shouts erupting from the people that had just found out this miraculous news. And soon it shrunk to a buzzing chatter and Walter Harriman stepped up with Siler at his side.

'People,' said Walter, 'Please stand by while we check this information.' he placed one of his small hands on the shoulder of the still worn out man who had brought this information to him, 'Until such time is deemed fit by me and a group of elected others, no bets on S.1 will be paid out. This shouldn't take to long. Thank you.' He said in quiet but commanding tone finalising his address to his many colleagues and customers.

He turned to Siler and murmured, 'Security room, level 8, go and clear it and we will be up in a few moments.'

And with that Siler did as he was told and dashed off in the direction of the elevator.

Meanwhile, Walter took the man who had brought the news to the population of the SGC outside and down one of the corridors. The mess hall doors swung shut changing the tone and volume of the jovial chatter of the SGC personnel. They stopped abruptly and Walter turned to a man he'd never spoken to before but known by face.

'Are you sure that there is something going on between Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter?'

'I'm sure that Frasier and Jackson think so.'


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

'WHAT?'

Silence once again descended upon the room, the sound of distant thudding boots running down the corridor echoed from the walls.

Jack and Sam stared at the people before them, so called educated people with the title of doctor each, in mild shock couple with a vague look of abject horror.

'We're not breaking the Frat. Regulations!' shouted Sam, 'But we wonder if you are! For…' she paused her screaming momentarily to re-think her words. '…god's sake! We heard you two in the infirmary!'

'You were going to say 'For crying out loud' weren't you?' replied Daniel quietly, as if he had just found the very proof he needed to convince him of his theories.

'And what of it? I've known him for six years and it's not as if you haven't picked up a sense of humour in these last few years, Daniel.' she challenged.

'Right, this is kind of off topic.' said Jack trying to break up the beginnings of a fight, 'You know we did hear you in the infirmary.'

Daniel and Janet looked at each other with slight guilt at being overheard speculating about the relationship of their best friends but confusion was the primary emotion visible in their eyes. Neither of them knew what Sam or Jack where talking about.

'You said something about the combat academy,' Jack continued, 'about what you learned, and frankly I'm shocked Doc.' His eyebrows rising high, a mischievous smirk now present.

'SAM!' Janet screeched in indignation and embarrassment, colour flooding her cheeks.

'What? I was just surprised that you'd put it to use!' answered Sam.

'I didn't do that! I took a radio apart and put it back together!'

'Yeah right, you guys have been waiting to jump each other for the past two years!' said Jack adding to the conversation.

'She did take the radio apart! And what ever sexual tension you think we've got it isn't even in the same league as you two.' shouted Daniel, fully having lost his temper, ' and what ever you thought _we_ were doing can't be half as bad as what _you_ were doing in your truck this morning!'

'We were doing nothing of the sort you gutter-minded archaeologist!' replied Sam.

'What were you doing then?' he asked with confidence.

The military officers shrunk away a little Sam more so than the colonel. To say the least Sam was embarrassed about the whole situation but it didn't make her confession any easier. With a quick glance in each other's direction Sam spoke.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The scene was quiet, as silence descended in the room; the occupants glancing between each other before back to their source of interested.

'Right everyone out; I've got maintenance detail for this room this afternoon, out, out!'

'Sergeant may we not be present while you conduct your maintenance.' asked Teal'c of the tired out Siler before him.

'Yes, I suppose, but it's your life.' Said Siler, at this point most of the security staff ran from the room like someone shouted free doughnuts; everyone knew how accident prone this man was. He had visited the infirmary more times than Dr Jackson despite the fact that he had never been off world. All the while Siler was standing behind Teal'c, pushing the man's broad shoulders with all his might and yet he did not move an inch.

But as the larger man started walking Siler found himself flat on his face not ready for the sudden movement of the man he was trying to move.

Form his position on the floor he cried, 'That's it keep moving hopefully I'll see you later!' Pushing himself up he made his way to the door to make sure that the coast was clear glaring at one of the security men that was taking their time to leave.

Soon he was greeted by Walter as he strode into the room with a small contingent of people following him, in that time he had brought the image of the Majors lab on and entire wall of screens.

The enlarged scene unfolding before them made all the more interesting as the microphone on the surveillance camera had been activated.

_' ... and what ever you thought **we** were doing can't be half as bad as what **you** were doing in your truck this morning!'_

_'We were doing nothing of the sort you gutter-minded archaeologist!'_

_'What were you doing then?'_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

'Aww come on Carter, spit it out!' Jack said, a jovial glint in his eyes seemingly enjoying the gentle torment of his 2IC.

'With all due respect sir it's different for you.' She said sounding quite annoyed.

'Why?'

'Because you're a man that's why!' she shouted, a cry for understanding and a break from the pressure she was currently under. 'It's different for us women. Men talk about it all the time. Men do it all the time but for women, the conservative view is that we don't do it and therefore it's a bit of a taboo subject.' She paused momentarily as if thinking how best to get her point across, 'I mean you do it every night I'm sure'

'I do not!' he cried as if hurt or mortally wounded, but a raise of an eyebrow by the woman across from him caused his defences to fall and put forward a muttered confession, 'Well I do …but that's beside the point!'

'No it's not,' replied Sam, 'I mean I do it every night too and… I can't believe I just admitted that.' With that she cringed visibly.

'If this isn't testament to your sexual tension then I dunno what is!' muttered Daniel barely loud enough for Sam and Jack to hear. Both he and Janet coming to the same conclusion as to what they where talking about.

'I'm shocked' said Janet, 'I never thought… Why are we even discussing this, it's just weird.' The first statement obviously true as the height of her eyebrows could easily be compared with Teal'c's eyebrow manures.

'See Daniel is happy to talk about it where are Janet isn't – hey you don't even know what were talking about yet!'

A slight wave of relief passed over the harassed major but then a flood of realisation hit her with out warning.

'Oh my god! Can't either of you stay out of the gutter for more than a minute!' she said completely and utterly shocked of the solution her mind had given her and yet known with every instinct that it was true.

'What?' said Jack completely unawares.

Sam leaned close to her commanding officer and whispered her speculations to her commanding officer.

'What?' he said still confused.

'Masturbating, sir.'

'They wouldn't, would they?' he said unbelieving looking upon the faces of his friends, but seeing the guilty looks on their faces he realised that his 2IC was right once again, 'Yup they would! Listen; do you want me to just tell them what you're up to? 'Cos I could, like you said it's easier for men to admit to…'

'NO! No, I'll do it.' said Sam.

She closed her eye, drew an audible breath then turned to her captivated audience.

o0o

hee hee I'm soo evil! I will leave you to stew for another wee while with this one!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Well aren't you going to tell them what's going on?" asked Jack a glint of amusement in his eye over the discomfort of his 2IC.

"I…I can't."

"Carter, just tell them. It's not that bad!"

"But…" she answered worried.

"Tell them, or do you want me to make that an order?" he said with a smile, but a look that said he wasn't kidding.

"Couldn't you just tell them sir?" she said changing tac.

"But it's your secret." He countered. "I think it would do you good to get it off your chest."

The moment he said it he wished he hadn't, the way the conversation had been going the last thing he needed was to be mentioning was his 2IC's chest.

"Sir, please." She asked.

"Carter."

"Please!" she pleaded.

"Carter!" he replied in reprimand.

"Or even better, why don't you just show them."

"What?" he shouted caught off-guard.

"Just get it out!" she instructed, taking a slight pause before she continued. "I know it's in your pants I can see it."

The moment she said it she wished she hadn't, the last thing she needed to think about was what was in her CO's pants. Her eyes were closed in embarrassment.

Janet and Daniel watched the entire exchange enthralled and ever so slightly in shock.

"Ok, ok." Said Jack giving in.

At this Daniel and Janet looked horrified, while Sam looked and him thankfully.

Anticipation gripped the room.

Jack reached into his pants to reveal a sleek plastic object 6 inches in length; he held it out to his audience. Their faces were a picture.

"This was what you were playing with?" said Daniel.

"Yeah, I've got my own as well and normally we'd play with them together but I left mine at home, charging."

"Sam I didn't know you liked that sort of thing?" Spoke Janet quietly.

"Well, it's is really fun. Do you wanna try?" asked Sam pushing her luck.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Teal'c stood in the corridor outside the security room. It seemed as though his friends had switched off their radio and at that moment he was entirely unsure what to do, so he stood there for a little while longer.

Eventually he decided that he should follow his original mission and so rammed through the security room door.

" _I know it's in your pants sir, I can see it."_

The voice of Samantha Carter echoed from the image that was currently on every screen in the little room.

Through the crowd was all to aware of the interruption i.e. the sound of the door coming off it's hinges, but no one could take their eyes off of the screens showing a lab on the 26th floor.

In the room they could see the back of the colonel and the two shocked faces of Daniel Jackson and Janet Frasier and Samantha Carter who stood between them and the colonel and, in fact, looked perfectly normal.

"_Ok, Ok." _

With this the two doctors looked completely horrified.

At this point nothing short of a full on invasion by the Goa'uld and/or Replicators could grab the attention of those currently looking on at the screens before them; not even the sound of Siler crashing in the back ground.

It was so quiet that they could hear the rustle of material as Jack got 'it' out.

They watched the reactions of Daniel and Janet with fascination until they could smell burning.

It was only when the crew were about to pass out from CO2 poisoning that Walter instructed 2 airmen to put out the fire and take Siler to the infirmary. Taking hold of the microphone in front of him he called,

"Dr Frasier to the infirmary."

All the while he was inching closer to the screen trying to get a better look at exactly what 'it' was.

Teal'c stood immobile, and only by the double eyebrow lift could you tell he was in a state of shock.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Dr Frasier to the infirmary."

" I better get going." She said running from the room, her burst of hysterical laughter was heard a few seconds later from down the hall.

"So." Said Sam.

"So." Said Daniel with an expectant look on his face.

"So." Said Jack with a look that could kill.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

General Hammond walked purposefully past a singed Siler carried by two Airmen with such a dazed look on their faces that he'd swear they never even noticed him walking past.

Smoke was emerging from a room at the end of the hall.

He noticed it was the security room and quickened his pace.

As he reached the door he heard "General!" being called from behind him as two airmen ran in his direction from a blue heap on the floor. He entered the room none the less, just in time to hear;

"_So you and Sam didn't have wild passionate monkey sex in your car this morning?"_

in Daniel Jackson's voice, echoing across the room.

Before anyone had the chance to react he grabbed the microphone from Walter's limp grasp and growled.

"SG-1, my office NOW!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Uh-oh."

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It took a while but here it is!

Hope you enjoyed – only one more chapter to go!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

General Hammond waited patiently his hands knotted together before him on the desk as he sat watching SG-1 assemble before him.

Teal'c had followed the general from the security room to his office and he took his place behind on of the chairs before the general, standing stoically and un-phased as ever.

The silence was bearable, barely. Though it was disrupted only a few short minutes later by the busy hushed voices of the rest of SG-1 meandering down the corridor outside.

They were all apprehensive and they took their positions next to Teal'c all standing to attention with Sam and Jack in the middle, and Daniel making sure the door was firmly closed before standing next to his teammates.

The general took his time to begin, taking a short while to mull over his thoughts and what he had seen through the day.

Most of the team were beginning to worry is the general was going into a state of shock – but thankfully (or unthankfully) he began to speak.

"Would anyone like to explain just what the hell has been going on today?"

It was so strange how someone could seem so calm at the beginning of a sentence and by the end of said sentence it looked at though you could fry an egg on the bald part of the speakers head. Thankfully this thought never came to any member of SG-1. No one answered, all three Tau'ri not daring to look the Texan rage in the eye, while Teal'c was impassive, as usual.

"That question was not rhetorical!"

Still there was no answer.

So having no choice Hammond asked the only member of the team who he actually had a case about.

"Jackson."

"Ah." He spoke so very quietly recoiling from the man before him.

"Explain."

"Ok...um…iherdsamanackinisarismornanfoteywuravinexanen…"

" Daniel!" shouted the colonel.

"Well, I do believe we have a volunteer. Jack if you'd like to tell me what's going on?" said the general glad on an excuse never to here another millisecond of that mash of vowels.

"It was all a miss understanding sir." He said simply. " Carter was playing with my new PSP."

"Your what?" the general asked in confusion.

"Play Station Portable, sir" he said removing said object from his pocket and waving it around a little before laying it on the desk.

"Well that is a relief." He said and the room breathed a collective sigh, "However that does not solve the problem of half the base believing that accusation Dr Jackson just made in your lab, Major."

"Half the base?" exclaimed Sam and Jack in unison.

"Well... the entire base by now most likely. News travels rather fast through concrete."

"But Teal'c was supposed to secure the security room!" exclaimed Daniel.

"Ah well this goes a little further than just a simple misunderstanding." Said the general.

Daniel closed his eyes to his mistake, but it didn't make it go away.

"Teal'c if you would care to explain."

"Indeed. Daniel Jackson spoke to me after lunch today and told me he believed that Major Carter and O'Neill were having romantic relations. I did not believe him at first however after hearing a conversation from outside SG-1's locker room I was convinced. From there we devised a plan to stop The Major and Colonel from meeting up that evening by delaying our return. At which time we had to inform Janet Frasier of our suspicions."

"Ah well, let's just get her in here then. Dr Frasier, if you would kindly remove your ear from my door and get yourself on the other side of it."

SG-1 were all surprised when they seen the Doc enter the room as if she had her tail between her legs.

"Yes, sir." She said as she added herself to the end of the group.

"Please continue Teal'c." said the general happy to hear the entire tail from someone who was talking in whole sentences and didn't leave anything out.

"Very well. From here we formed another plan to confirm our suspicions and if found true try to dissuade Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill for their actions. Dr's Frasier and Jackson were to confront them together and I was to go to the security room and relay their position and watch over the events." Teal'c spoke finishing his small speech.

"While I admire your loyalty as friends I am very disappointed in all of you as you knew that IF what you suspected was transpiring that regulations were being broken. And you were going out of your way to conceal it." He sighed and looked over the group before him. "Because technically none of you have actually broken military regulations no charges can be brought before you however do not think that this behaviour will go unpunished. Your are dismissed for the moment, report to my office at 08.00 tomorrow and we shall discuss it then."

SG-1 and Dr Frasier began to file out of the room before the General called to them.

"Major, Colonel please stay behind."

They turned back to face their commanding officer as their friend poured out of the room, both could almost feel the sympathy radiating from them.

The door closed and they waited.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Teal'c, Daniel and Janet filed out of the generals office in silence and before they could even begin to start a conversation over the events that had just transpired they were faced with a wall of officers and airmen. Walter the official spokes person and bookkeeper of the SGC stepped forward.

"Well?"

"False alarm." Said Janet.

There was an audible groan from the group numbering 50 something. But none moved or let the others through. There were still questions to be answered.

"So what was 'it' then?" someone called from the back.

"I believe it was some sort of hand held gaming device." Said Teal'c.

" A PSP." Said Daniel clarifying.

"Ah." They said in realisation.

"Let's inform the gamblers." Said Walter.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Again he waited a moment just for the dramatic effect it seemed to have on the situation, as if he wanted to build up the tension once again.

"Sam, Jack, Just what did you think you were doing?"

"But sir, it's harmless, you've let me on base with my game-boy before, what's the difference now." said Jack in their defence.

"Yes, now that never has been a problem, but could you please explain to me how your conversations over this thing," he said brandishing it at his officers as if some piece of evidence, "could be construed as flirting and dare I say it pointing to the fact that you two could be having a romantic relationship. And on my base none the less!"

Silence reigned once again.

The general sighed every so slightly.

"While I accept SG-1 is a closer team than most, and that there are some strange missions in your history, your conduct is professional and …"

At this point a new voice entered the room via the phone-like contraption on the generals desk that is a direct link to the control room. Now, while it did look like a phone, it acted like a radio and as such only one person could converse at a time.

"General sir, I regret to inform you that the terms of your bet have not been made today and in fact due to the events which have transpired you owe the president $50."

Walter was so going to be fired tomorrow.

"Take this." He said holding out the object that had been the bane of his life all day to its owner. "Dismissed."

In a daze the two officers left the room, the door closing behind them.

However it did nothing to quieten the sound of the general's scream of "Walter!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was only much later as the two officers sat next to each other in the quiet of Sam's lab did they find their voices once again.

"Can you believe they all thought…?" said Sam.

"Yeah, no…" said Jack confused, "I know what you mean."

"And there were bets." She continued.

"The General." Replied Jack

"The President." Sam counted.

" Hmm."

"Yeah."

"Do you…" Jack started but then gave up half way through.

"What?" she asked looking at him for the first time since they'd last left her lab.

He looked towards her. Then looked her up and down as if to try and gage what her answer would be.

A glint in his eye and a grin forming he asked.

"Do you think we could get away with it?"

The End!

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So it was a PSP! Congrats to all those who guessed!

Reviews keep me warm at night so keep 'em coming and if I get enough I've got one hell of a short epilogue that's begging to be read.

Thanks so much for all your support and hope you like it!

Mishy

xxxxxx


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Hammond sat quiet happily in a large comfy chair with his legs propped up on the surface in front of him. A bowl of popcorn had been provided and was currently buttering his fingers as he watched the scene unfold before him.

The two best officers that he had ever had the pleasure of leading were (and there is no other way to phrase it) making out. And I _mean_, making out like the world was going to end tomorrow. And he'd admit in this line of work it could.

Anyway back to the screen in front of him.

Sam had found herself being picked up and seated upon the workbench; the tools that were once laid out neatly on the bench were now strewn across the floor. From her perch she'd pulled Jack in close and wrapped her legs around him, she brought him closer still until the 'so totally unexpected' happened and they finally kissed.

A cheer erupted from the small room that was filled with the entire base personnel (minus two, of course). Popcorn was flying everywhere as the general was thrown from his seat.

"Walter, get the president on the phone. The man owes me money!" he called from the floor.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We should…have done …this years ago." Said Sam breathless between kisses.

"That good, huh?" Jack replied with _that_ grin which meant the only response he got was Sam pulling back in for another lip-lock.

Jack was utterly tingling with excitement, not only was he making out with Sam, his Sam, she had her legs and arm wrapped round him, which felt oh-so-good and did things to him that he could barely even comprehend.

Sam was in a similar state. Her heart was beating out of her chest as if she were running a marathon at a sprint, not only was she kissing Jack but he was holding on to her as if he would never let go.

And lets face it, it's not like she was thinking on going anywhere at the moment.

She was so busy in her thought that she never heard the movement of the camera from its perch on the wall, but Jack did.

He stopped abruptly, Sam whimpering slightly at the loss, as he eyed the camera suspiciously.

"Just hold on a minute Sam. I'll be right back." He said swooping in for a quick kiss before heading towards the desk chair at the end of the room. Picking it up he took it in the direction of the camera.

"Oh general!" he called setting the chair down. " I hope your enjoying the view! And no doubt the rest of the base there with you. But I'm afraid to say that the show stops here; you voyeurs! "

He stepped up to the chair and looked directly into the black 'eye' of the camera.

"To all those viewing I'd suggest you stay away from here for 3…no…" he glanced back into the room, "4 hours if you know what's good for you."

"Oh Jack." Said Sam from behind him oh-so-sweetly.

"Just coming Sam." Then leaning closer still to the camera he said, "Well, not yet anyway."

And he pulled the plug.

He waited in front of the camera until he watched the little red light flicker and fade to nothing.

"That was a bit presumptuous." Said Sam as she watched Jack jump of the chair then prop in under the handle of the door.

"I suppose," he said nonchalantly, then grinning again, " Now, where were we?"

"Well." She said beckoning him forward. "You were here." Her legs wrapped round hi, once more, her ankles meeting at the back of his thighs. "And I was here and…"

Their lips met once again; still fierce and passionate. Jack's fingers quickly lifted the fabric the fabric of Sam's shirt. He loved the way she moaned as they kissed when his fingers caresses the soft skin of the small of her back. Sam's hands were not idol either. Scratching their way down his torso they started on his shirt as well. So seconds later the well-crunched abs were beneath her gentle touch causing him to jerk slightly.

They separated for a moment to catch their breath, reassured by the similar mixture of love and lust they seen in each other's eyes. But Sam couldn't help but grin as she said;

"Now I know that's not your sidearm."

He smiled back, a familiar warmth reaching his eyes.

"And it's not my PSP either." He said removing it from his pocket and setting it down on the workbench next to Sam. "Now, where…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tah dah! Right that's it really finished!

Ta Muchness for all the great reviews and constant support and occasional nagging lol

Mishy

xxxxxxx


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